Co-parenting during the holidays can be stressful. With communication, flexibility, and a shared commitment to your child’s happiness, you can create a holiday season filled with joy—not conflict.
Start reviewing your custody schedules early
Holiday schedules are typically either split or alternating. Split custody schedules divide the day in half allowing for both parents to enjoy the holiday, whereas alternating schedules swap the physical holiday custodial time between parents on odd and even years. I typically reach out to my parents in October to review their Thanksgiving and Christmas/Hanukkah/ Kwanzaa schedule. It’s essential that parents communicate regarding their holiday schedule early on. Since most schools schedule a break during Christmas time, it may be important to identify childcare and custodial exchanges. If you haven’t already, reach out to your ex and discuss the upcoming holiday schedule.
Religious differences
Legal custody in Pennsylvania is defined as “ [t]he right to make major decisions on behalf of the child, including, but not limited to, medical, religious and educational decisions.” 23 Pa.C.S.A. § 5322. Legal custody is typically shared between parents although in rare circumstances, the court can assign sole legal custody. Courts are reluctant to enter orders regarding religious preferences. Each parent is going to celebrate traditions unique to their home. I encourage all my parents to be respectful and flexible regarding holiday traditions.
Traveling
The holiday schedule typically takes precedence over any vacation time. Please review your custody schedule closely to ensure that you are not scheduling any vacations over your co-parents holiday time to avoid potential Petitions for Contempt. You should also note whether you need to share any travel information such as emergency contact, address of hotel or host, etc. if you leaving the state or country for the holidays. Your custody may require you to share this information.
Gifting
Coordinate gift giving with your co-parent. It’s important to discuss budgeting and large gifts to avoid duplication or overshadowing the other parent. It’s also a good time to check in about age-appropriate gifts such as video game age ratings.
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